One of many great aspects about living in South Africa is the ability to have your domestic help with your kids. We love our domestic, Joyce, and knew she would be fantastic to help out with Grant. Adalyn loves Joyce who is so caring, loving and playful with her. I had not spoken to Joyce much before Grant's arrival about how we raise and care for our kids and figured with some simple instruction she would be able to pick up on what we do.
One week after Grant was born, Mark went back to work and I started having Joyce help me in the morning to get Adalyn fed and dressed to get out the door to school while caring for Grant. Once Grant was fed, I would load Adalyn into the car and hand Grant off to Joyce telling her to rock him to sleep. The first day upon returning from Adalyn's school, I found Joyce in the living room just talking to Grant who was wide awake. I asked her if he just did not want to sleep, to which she said he did not, so I picked him up and immediately after a few minutes of rocking he feel fast asleep.
Day number two of handing Grant off to Joyce I gave a little more instruction. I told her to go into his room, and just rock him the whole time and he will surely fall asleep. After arriving back home, I found Joyce in Grant's room, sitting in his rocker holding Grant out in front of her looking at him and talking. I again asked if he did not want to sleep to which she said he did not, so I picked him up and again he fell asleep immediately after rocking for a few minutes.
On the eve of day number three I started to realize that maybe some of my terms were getting lost in translation. I took Joyce up to Grant's room and told her to cradle Grant in her arms and rock in the rocking chair the entire time I am gone so hopefully he will fall asleep. This day I was smarter and waited a bit before leaving so I would watch on Grant's monitor what would happen. Joyce cradled Grant, sat in the rocker but did not rock. I then realized that the term "rock" was foreign to her. I should have figured since when I spoke to her about buying a rocking chair she had never heard of such a thing. I could only find two companies who specialized in making them as none were sold in the furniture and baby stores I visited (trying to physically explain/demonstrate to sales people about rocking chairs was quite comical).
On day three I went back into Grant's room and had to physically show Joyce how to rock in a rocking chair. Both she and I had a good laugh as she learned how to rock a baby in a rocking chair not realizing you keep up the repetitive motion. Joyce then mentioned that the chair would make her fall asleep, I told her that was kind of the point, at least for the baby. Now that we had the rocking down I began to ask her more about caring for her kids to see what else may be completely different.
Joyce said that she would carry her babies on her back all day. Using a blanket, the baby would be tightly strapped to her back where it would remain all day except for feedings and diaper changes. The amount of work Joyce would have in a day would not allow her time to interact with her baby much so by wearing the baby on her back she could be more productive and still be with her baby. This is an extremely common practice among the Africans. I told her that the movement her babies feel by being worn on her back is similar to rocking and helps them go to sleep.
Our rocking chair is not the only item that is foreign to Joyce. Her children never had a crib (always sleeping in bed with her) or a swing or bouncer as those items were not practical for their budget or lifestyle. Everything from a changing table (Joyce would use a bed or the floor) to car seats (Joyce does not have a car and her kids don't ride in taxis) to high chairs (Joyce never had one and her kid's have never eaten at a restaurant to use one) really seems unnecessary to her. When I brought home a bath seat for the baby to sit in while being bathed, Joyce had no idea what it was and after I explained it she chuckled then asked why we don't just hold the baby. After viewing all of Grant's baby items through her perspective I realize that we do have an overwhelming amount of stuff for one little guy that we could do without, but strangely I also feel like I need each one of them.
For all the hardships that Joyce and her community face they are beyond resourceful and maybe if I just carried Grant around all day and nixed all of his baby items life would be more simple. Joyce's kids are just as happy as mine and loved just the same. It is easy to get caught up in the overwhelming amount of information and pressure on getting your kid ahead in life which is thrown at you even before birth and one product over another can make all the difference....so the market says. Before having Adalyn I felt like I needed all these items and I could not have the baby go without or somehow it would be a reflection on how good of a mom I was. While I was teaching Joyce how to use a rocking chair, I learned that I take all the modern baby conveniences for granted. The love Joyce shows to Grant melts my heart and even if it's going to take some time for her to learn how to get him to sleep, I know he is being cared for well and loved beyond measure.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Leopard Lovin
During one of the several holidays this past May in South Africa we traveled to the Lory Park Zoo as we heard there were baby leopards you could play with. Having pet and played with so many other animals, I was excited to knock this one off our list and have another great experience with the wildlife here. About 30 minutes from our home, in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere again, is a small zoo with several animals. 
The zoo had an array of birds, but also thrown in are crocodiles, tigers, lions, lizards, fish, black jaguars, and 3 adorable baby leopards. I was not aware prior to arriving but the zoo does not allow pregnant women to play with the leopards. Adalyn and Mark spent about 10 minutes cuddling them just like house cats and playing with them. 
An African zoo is not complete unless there are bunnies to be fed and pet. Adalyn has this activity down and the bunnies don't seem to see her coming. She is not afraid to pick them right up, with their feet running as fast as they can to get away therefore she thinks she just needs to hold them tighter.
It was a nice morning activity, we will likely go back again as you can't pass up leopard cubs.
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| 2 lions in the background |
I thought this sign was funny on the back of the ladies bathroom stall.
Never thought of it as a "performance" before.
Monday, June 9, 2014
A year in review
One year ago today we had our entire lives packed up and moved across the globe to Pretoria, South Africa. I was beyond excited and really not apprehensive at all. We had a few friends here who told us what to expect but I can't really do justice to explaining our life here. If anyone has the chance to visit South Africa I would highly recommend it. We love living here and all the surprises that have come from the experience.
Living the life of an ex-pat, the friends you make soon become your family. I was surprised by the sense of community among the Black and Veatch families. Right away we made friends who help us celebrate life's events, fill in as family for the holidays, and it feels like we have known them for years. I feel like we hit the jackpot on friends in both America and South Africa.
Another surprise was the cost of living. I did not expect that it would be significantly cheaper to go out to eat, attend events, and enjoy the attractions here. With the cost lower, we have been able to do every activity we wanted which has made our experience here even better. The cost to travel or vacation has not been cheaper and this country is much larger than I expected making vacations harder to plan with Mark's work schedule.
Animal interactions was something that I did not expect. I knew there would be opportunities to go on safari but to pet cheetahs, lions, and any other animal you can think of at a low cost and close by was surprising. Being able to interact with the animals is my favorite thing about living here and I love how open Africa is to helping you experience the wildlife.
One aspect we have experienced that I did not realize before our move is how prevalent racism is. Twenty years have passed since the Apartheid ended yet racism is very apparent here everyday. I am saddened when I hear the white Africans spew racist comments to the black Africans as if no growth has gone on in the last twenty years. Even more shocking is how some white Africans will speak to me as if I would agree with their comments and must hold the same racist opinions as them. Knowing what to say and how to react is something I struggle with but hope to at least show compassion for the situations the black Africans have been put in.
I am not sure I will ever get used to the level of poverty here in South Africa. In America I would see homeless people and homes in total disrepair housing families but nothing to the extent that South Africa has. From dilapidated homes that really are just sheets of metal held together without water or electricity, to the 50 plus people who stand right outside our community's security gates each day hoping for work, the need for help is apparent. People asking for money on the side of the road in America normally stand there with a sign, here in South Africa they get on their knees and beg at your window with praying hands. Children are roadside with their parents asking for help and whole communities live in sewage filled valleys because there is no where else to turn.
Right next to these homes and poverty filled areas are shopping malls, grocery stores and all the other similar amenities you can get in America. I have been surprised by how similar the industrial parts of South Africa look to America. Though in America you cannot find a playground and child care attendants at every restaurant which is something we, and of course Adalyn, love. The family and kid friendly environment of Pretoria has been very welcoming and a wonderful place to raise a family.
Upon moving here I knew there were several different languages spoken (11 total official ones) and partly expected Adalyn to pick up some Afrikaans but never thought she would use different English words to mean the same thing we are used to saying. Instead of saying "clean up", Adalyn says "tidy up". She calls the "trash can", a "dust bin", and says we "must" and "ought" to do something instead of saying we "need" or "should". When speaking about money she says "Rand" and not "dollars", and uses their slang such as "now now" which I still can't figure out what time frame that means. I hope even after we move back to America, she keeps using her new vocabulary.
Some of America's amenities that I miss are central heat and air. It can get quite warm here of course during the summer months, but even in the winter, the nights are cold and crawling into a cold bed or just putting on your cold clothes in the morning make me miss a heater. Of course I miss some American food and although we have adjusted just fine to the options here, I can't help but think about all the recipes I can't make or treats I can't enjoy because they are not sold here. Though it is better for our health, I do miss the sweetness of American desserts and don't even bother buying any at the stores or restaurants, they just don't make the cut.
A year ago when we told people we were moving here they would always ask if we were either with the military or missionaries. In South Africa, when we tell people we are from America, they ask if we work with the Embassy or what company we are with, never a question about the military or volunteering. Some people will treat us differently when they find out we are American. Most of the black Africans will not speak to me until I have spoken to them, but once I open the conversation they are very warm and talkative. It is not unusual for people to ask me if I know American celebrities and I do get comments about Americans having an endless amount of money. Making friends with the black and white Africans has not been a problem, though communication can still be difficult even with both parties using English as we tend to use the same words differently.
We are one year into our two year contract with hopes to stay longer if given the opportunity. I have learned so much about myself and have grown as a person by living here. Of course the addition of our son, Grant, and watching Adalyn grow up in a truly unique environment have been amazing experiences. When I get sad about missing our life back in America, it only takes a few minutes of looking around at the opportunities here to realize that moving to South Africa was the best decision Mark and I made for our family.
Living the life of an ex-pat, the friends you make soon become your family. I was surprised by the sense of community among the Black and Veatch families. Right away we made friends who help us celebrate life's events, fill in as family for the holidays, and it feels like we have known them for years. I feel like we hit the jackpot on friends in both America and South Africa.
Another surprise was the cost of living. I did not expect that it would be significantly cheaper to go out to eat, attend events, and enjoy the attractions here. With the cost lower, we have been able to do every activity we wanted which has made our experience here even better. The cost to travel or vacation has not been cheaper and this country is much larger than I expected making vacations harder to plan with Mark's work schedule.
Animal interactions was something that I did not expect. I knew there would be opportunities to go on safari but to pet cheetahs, lions, and any other animal you can think of at a low cost and close by was surprising. Being able to interact with the animals is my favorite thing about living here and I love how open Africa is to helping you experience the wildlife.
One aspect we have experienced that I did not realize before our move is how prevalent racism is. Twenty years have passed since the Apartheid ended yet racism is very apparent here everyday. I am saddened when I hear the white Africans spew racist comments to the black Africans as if no growth has gone on in the last twenty years. Even more shocking is how some white Africans will speak to me as if I would agree with their comments and must hold the same racist opinions as them. Knowing what to say and how to react is something I struggle with but hope to at least show compassion for the situations the black Africans have been put in.
I am not sure I will ever get used to the level of poverty here in South Africa. In America I would see homeless people and homes in total disrepair housing families but nothing to the extent that South Africa has. From dilapidated homes that really are just sheets of metal held together without water or electricity, to the 50 plus people who stand right outside our community's security gates each day hoping for work, the need for help is apparent. People asking for money on the side of the road in America normally stand there with a sign, here in South Africa they get on their knees and beg at your window with praying hands. Children are roadside with their parents asking for help and whole communities live in sewage filled valleys because there is no where else to turn.
Right next to these homes and poverty filled areas are shopping malls, grocery stores and all the other similar amenities you can get in America. I have been surprised by how similar the industrial parts of South Africa look to America. Though in America you cannot find a playground and child care attendants at every restaurant which is something we, and of course Adalyn, love. The family and kid friendly environment of Pretoria has been very welcoming and a wonderful place to raise a family.
Upon moving here I knew there were several different languages spoken (11 total official ones) and partly expected Adalyn to pick up some Afrikaans but never thought she would use different English words to mean the same thing we are used to saying. Instead of saying "clean up", Adalyn says "tidy up". She calls the "trash can", a "dust bin", and says we "must" and "ought" to do something instead of saying we "need" or "should". When speaking about money she says "Rand" and not "dollars", and uses their slang such as "now now" which I still can't figure out what time frame that means. I hope even after we move back to America, she keeps using her new vocabulary.
Some of America's amenities that I miss are central heat and air. It can get quite warm here of course during the summer months, but even in the winter, the nights are cold and crawling into a cold bed or just putting on your cold clothes in the morning make me miss a heater. Of course I miss some American food and although we have adjusted just fine to the options here, I can't help but think about all the recipes I can't make or treats I can't enjoy because they are not sold here. Though it is better for our health, I do miss the sweetness of American desserts and don't even bother buying any at the stores or restaurants, they just don't make the cut.
A year ago when we told people we were moving here they would always ask if we were either with the military or missionaries. In South Africa, when we tell people we are from America, they ask if we work with the Embassy or what company we are with, never a question about the military or volunteering. Some people will treat us differently when they find out we are American. Most of the black Africans will not speak to me until I have spoken to them, but once I open the conversation they are very warm and talkative. It is not unusual for people to ask me if I know American celebrities and I do get comments about Americans having an endless amount of money. Making friends with the black and white Africans has not been a problem, though communication can still be difficult even with both parties using English as we tend to use the same words differently.
We are one year into our two year contract with hopes to stay longer if given the opportunity. I have learned so much about myself and have grown as a person by living here. Of course the addition of our son, Grant, and watching Adalyn grow up in a truly unique environment have been amazing experiences. When I get sad about missing our life back in America, it only takes a few minutes of looking around at the opportunities here to realize that moving to South Africa was the best decision Mark and I made for our family.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
My South African Pregnancy: Delivery Time
Prior to Grant's birth we had anxiously been expecting him about any day after 38 weeks as Adalyn was born at 38 weeks, I never thought my second baby would come later. Day after day passed and my doctor even thought he would come before his due date of 3/15 but like all babies, they have their own schedule and won't come until they are ready.
At 5pm on 3/14 I started having contractions lasting 30 seconds and 5 minutes apart. Mark was already on his way home from work so I got all our stuff packed into the car so we could head to the hospital after dropping off Adalyn at a friend's house for the night. By 7pm we had gone through the admissions process after checking into Labor and Delivery first to see if they wanted me to stay. Just like in the US, I was hooked up to a monitor for the baby's heart rate and another one to monitor my contractions. Labor was progressing nicely, though the nurse thought it would be a long night ahead so she offered me sleeping pills. I laughed and said, "I don't think I will be able to sleep through this even with medicine". Then came the first of 3 offers for coffee/tea and she was quite surprised I did not want either (this culture loves their tea and I doubt it is rarely turned down, even in labor).
The nurse allowed me to walk around and came back to check on the baby's heart rate often. It was very quiet in the Labor ward as I was the only patient. The nurse commented that my hospital is nicknamed, "Caesars Palace" because of all the c-sections. In fact the day I gave birth of the 15 total moms, I was the only one who did not have a c-section. Plus the fact that I did not have any pain medications made my natural delivery even more unusual to them. The nurse kept trying to figure out from my breathing how things were progressing, she was surprised by how fast the labor and delivery went, commenting on it several times after Grant was born. The nurses were quite good, seemed to have the same duties as they do in the States. Once it was time to push the baby out, the doctor was called, who barely made it there in time, coming in the last 5 minutes. This happened with Adalyn but at least there was another doctor standing by, here in South Africa the nurse would of had to deliver Grant.
One different aspect of delivery here in South Africa is that the doctor stands at the side of you, sort of holding back on your knees. There are no stirrups and the bottom of the bed does not come off as it does in the States. There is a nurse at the other side holding the other knee and one more standing by for the baby. I thought it would be quite a bit harder for the doctor to stand at my side versus facing me like in the States, but she did not have any issues. No one counted to 10 as I pushed here and once the baby arrived he was bundled up in towels instead of blankets. The process was just the same as I had in the States with Adalyn with only a few differences mentioned above.
With my delivery done, I was once again asked if I wanted coffee/tea, this time I accepted. After a few hours I was moved to the Mother/Baby ward. I did not luck out and get a private room but shared with 3 other moms. I figured it would have been difficult to sleep but since all of them had had c-sections, none of their babies were rooming in with them, so it was Grant and I who made all the noise. Even on day 2, some of these moms could not get out of bed but the nurses would let the babies sleep with them, covered in a million blankets of course. The locals think it is much colder here than we do and wrap their babies up in what I thought was way too many layers as if there is no risk of suffocation. I did not mind rooming with all the other women who rotated in and out as some were being prepped for their c-section then arriving back in the room an hour later with their babies.
The pediatrician and my OB would visit once if not twice daily to check on Grant and I. Their duties seemed to be the same though neither gave much discharge instructions. Grant had immunizations, hearing tests and all the other necessities as he would have in the States. The pediatrician did order lab work on Grant which the nurse said is not routine and they only do it a few times a year but since the pediatrician knew we were American he knew we would want everything checked out. After getting my fill of tea which was brought to my bedside 3 times a day, we were discharged on day 3 and followed up with the pediatrician a week later.
Circumcisions are not performed in the hospital as it is not customary for boys to have that procedure done in South Africa. This past Sunday we traveled to Johannesburg to see a physician who is also a Rabbi that will perform the procedure. One would think we were taking Grant to some back door doctor since we came on a Sunday and had to pay in cash. Mark actually watched the procedure and said everything went well....not sure if he knew how it was suppose to go, but we both feel fine with the outcome. It would have been nice to have it done in the hospital before going home so I could ask more questions as Grant was healing.
Overall the differences from having a baby in the States to having one in South Africa were minimal to me. I did not think it would matter as much to me that Mark could not stay the night in the hospital, but looking back it would have been helpful to have another set of hands, especially in the middle of the night. There is nothing that would keep me from having a baby here again as I never felt that my care was compromised. Though given the size of this baby, next time I will opt for pain medication as two natural deliveries have proven to be enough for me.
At 5pm on 3/14 I started having contractions lasting 30 seconds and 5 minutes apart. Mark was already on his way home from work so I got all our stuff packed into the car so we could head to the hospital after dropping off Adalyn at a friend's house for the night. By 7pm we had gone through the admissions process after checking into Labor and Delivery first to see if they wanted me to stay. Just like in the US, I was hooked up to a monitor for the baby's heart rate and another one to monitor my contractions. Labor was progressing nicely, though the nurse thought it would be a long night ahead so she offered me sleeping pills. I laughed and said, "I don't think I will be able to sleep through this even with medicine". Then came the first of 3 offers for coffee/tea and she was quite surprised I did not want either (this culture loves their tea and I doubt it is rarely turned down, even in labor).
The nurse allowed me to walk around and came back to check on the baby's heart rate often. It was very quiet in the Labor ward as I was the only patient. The nurse commented that my hospital is nicknamed, "Caesars Palace" because of all the c-sections. In fact the day I gave birth of the 15 total moms, I was the only one who did not have a c-section. Plus the fact that I did not have any pain medications made my natural delivery even more unusual to them. The nurse kept trying to figure out from my breathing how things were progressing, she was surprised by how fast the labor and delivery went, commenting on it several times after Grant was born. The nurses were quite good, seemed to have the same duties as they do in the States. Once it was time to push the baby out, the doctor was called, who barely made it there in time, coming in the last 5 minutes. This happened with Adalyn but at least there was another doctor standing by, here in South Africa the nurse would of had to deliver Grant.
One different aspect of delivery here in South Africa is that the doctor stands at the side of you, sort of holding back on your knees. There are no stirrups and the bottom of the bed does not come off as it does in the States. There is a nurse at the other side holding the other knee and one more standing by for the baby. I thought it would be quite a bit harder for the doctor to stand at my side versus facing me like in the States, but she did not have any issues. No one counted to 10 as I pushed here and once the baby arrived he was bundled up in towels instead of blankets. The process was just the same as I had in the States with Adalyn with only a few differences mentioned above. With my delivery done, I was once again asked if I wanted coffee/tea, this time I accepted. After a few hours I was moved to the Mother/Baby ward. I did not luck out and get a private room but shared with 3 other moms. I figured it would have been difficult to sleep but since all of them had had c-sections, none of their babies were rooming in with them, so it was Grant and I who made all the noise. Even on day 2, some of these moms could not get out of bed but the nurses would let the babies sleep with them, covered in a million blankets of course. The locals think it is much colder here than we do and wrap their babies up in what I thought was way too many layers as if there is no risk of suffocation. I did not mind rooming with all the other women who rotated in and out as some were being prepped for their c-section then arriving back in the room an hour later with their babies.
The pediatrician and my OB would visit once if not twice daily to check on Grant and I. Their duties seemed to be the same though neither gave much discharge instructions. Grant had immunizations, hearing tests and all the other necessities as he would have in the States. The pediatrician did order lab work on Grant which the nurse said is not routine and they only do it a few times a year but since the pediatrician knew we were American he knew we would want everything checked out. After getting my fill of tea which was brought to my bedside 3 times a day, we were discharged on day 3 and followed up with the pediatrician a week later.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
A lesson in humility
When we made the decision to move to Africa I expected to take up volunteer work to fill the time I used to spend working while Adalyn was at school. I had reached out to 2 orphanages each with approx 250 kids, a soup kitchen, and a homeless program all of which turned me down stating they did not have any work for me. I finally had some luck with a church we started attending but they only offered 2 hours of work every other Tuesday. After figuring out that a large volunteer project was never going to work out for me I began looking closer to home.
Our domestic, Joyce, was the perfect place to start. Since she was supporting a family of 8 on her salary of $2 per hour I started to give her groceries, clothes, household items. Then in January when after 6 months of working for me, she mentioned that she did not have hot water in her house, I knew this was my next task.
Despite living in a government owned home for the last 13 years, it only had plumbing for cold water to two sinks. It had a working toilet, but no bath tub. Joyce put in a bath tub but could not afford to complete the plumbing to fill it.
When asked about how her family bathed, I was immediately humbled. Every morning Joyce lays out rocks in the sun along with buckets of water, comes to work at our house, then returns home to hopefully find the rocks and the water warm. She then brings them into her home and each family member will give themselves a sponge bath as filling the tub would make the water only usable for the first few people.
Of course I pried more and she said that the government was suppose to give them a solar water heater years ago, but the program folded. Joyce always wanted to install a solar water heater but the cost was more than they could afford. I kept picturing Joyce bathing her 3 year old daughter, and 1 year old grandson in cold water each night during the winter, and my heart would sink. Each morning as I took a hot shower, often enjoying it longer than necessary, I would feel guilty that Joyce came to my house each day to clean it with hot water while going without at home. I began my search into the world of solar water heaters, not knowing anything about them, but that it had to be done.
After contacting several companies, I found one that offered a good model at a reasonable price and would install it in one day. I can't even put a price on what I would pay for hot water, as it is something I have never had to think about. But for $750 I was able to provide Joyce and her family with something that I hope will change their lives for the better. Joyce took off the day of the install, I joined her at her home, along with some of her kids and neighbors, and we watched the men install the hot water heater. My intentions were to give Joyce this gift but really I am the one who received more.
I found myself crying just by seeing how happy Joyce was. In 42 years she has never taken a hot shower and never complained about it. Prior to living in her current home she did not even have running water, electricity or a toilet. Five different sets of neighbors also came over to watch the install and thanked me for doing this for Joyce's family, and I was thinking "how could I not do it". Her kid's came home from school and were excited about what now appeared on their roof. Joyce took her neighbors into her home, turned on the kitchen sink and they were all excited for her that warm water was coming out. She even showed them the newly plumbed bath tub and they celebrated. Since several of her neighbors do not have indoor plumbing, this was a big step up in their eyes.
Living in Africa has really opened my eyes to what a privileged life I have. I am a different person for living here, not only from what I have seen other go without, but how gracious they are for what little they have. I have been humbled by this experience and thank God for putting Joyce in my life. I made sure she knew this was happening because of all the wonderful care she has given my family since we arrived. God has blessed our family with plenty of gifts and I never thought that my "gift" to Joyce would really unfold as another one of God's gifts to me. Spiritually I knew God had plans for me while I was here, but it just took some time to figure out that trying to help a group of people was not the way to go for me and I needed to start in my own home.
Our domestic, Joyce, was the perfect place to start. Since she was supporting a family of 8 on her salary of $2 per hour I started to give her groceries, clothes, household items. Then in January when after 6 months of working for me, she mentioned that she did not have hot water in her house, I knew this was my next task.
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| Joyce's home which currently sleeps 6 people |
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| The brick room in the back was built this year and sleeps one of her nephews and there is an identical one next to it which sleeps her son. For the past 13 years the two boys were sleeping on the dining room and kitchen floor. |
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| Joyce's nephew's room. It has electricity for a light and he shares the family bathroom in the adjacent house. Her 17 year old nephew told me he was happy to have his own bed. |
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| Joyce and her husband's bedroom in the main house. There are no doors separating it from the other room, just a cabinet and a curtain. |
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| Second bedroom in Joyce's house. Her 17 year old daughter, 3 year old daughter and 1 year old grandson share the bed. Her 13 year old nephew sleeps on the floor. No door separating it from the rest of the house, just a cabinet and a curtain. |
Despite living in a government owned home for the last 13 years, it only had plumbing for cold water to two sinks. It had a working toilet, but no bath tub. Joyce put in a bath tub but could not afford to complete the plumbing to fill it.
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Of course I pried more and she said that the government was suppose to give them a solar water heater years ago, but the program folded. Joyce always wanted to install a solar water heater but the cost was more than they could afford. I kept picturing Joyce bathing her 3 year old daughter, and 1 year old grandson in cold water each night during the winter, and my heart would sink. Each morning as I took a hot shower, often enjoying it longer than necessary, I would feel guilty that Joyce came to my house each day to clean it with hot water while going without at home. I began my search into the world of solar water heaters, not knowing anything about them, but that it had to be done.
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| 150 Liter Solar water heater |
After contacting several companies, I found one that offered a good model at a reasonable price and would install it in one day. I can't even put a price on what I would pay for hot water, as it is something I have never had to think about. But for $750 I was able to provide Joyce and her family with something that I hope will change their lives for the better. Joyce took off the day of the install, I joined her at her home, along with some of her kids and neighbors, and we watched the men install the hot water heater. My intentions were to give Joyce this gift but really I am the one who received more.
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| New copper plumbing installed for the bathroom and kitchen sink. |
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| Worker installing the solar water heater. |
I found myself crying just by seeing how happy Joyce was. In 42 years she has never taken a hot shower and never complained about it. Prior to living in her current home she did not even have running water, electricity or a toilet. Five different sets of neighbors also came over to watch the install and thanked me for doing this for Joyce's family, and I was thinking "how could I not do it". Her kid's came home from school and were excited about what now appeared on their roof. Joyce took her neighbors into her home, turned on the kitchen sink and they were all excited for her that warm water was coming out. She even showed them the newly plumbed bath tub and they celebrated. Since several of her neighbors do not have indoor plumbing, this was a big step up in their eyes.
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| Joyce's kitchen complete with a 4 burner stove and oven, sink and fridge/freezer. |
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| Joyce's dining room, they only have 3 chairs currently so family meals can't happen all together at the table. (next on my to do list) Behind the curtains are the two bedrooms. |
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| Kitchen with 2 faucets for cold and hot water |
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| Bathroom with taps for cold and hot water. No sink in the bathroom. |
Living in Africa has really opened my eyes to what a privileged life I have. I am a different person for living here, not only from what I have seen other go without, but how gracious they are for what little they have. I have been humbled by this experience and thank God for putting Joyce in my life. I made sure she knew this was happening because of all the wonderful care she has given my family since we arrived. God has blessed our family with plenty of gifts and I never thought that my "gift" to Joyce would really unfold as another one of God's gifts to me. Spiritually I knew God had plans for me while I was here, but it just took some time to figure out that trying to help a group of people was not the way to go for me and I needed to start in my own home.
"Praise God from whom all blessings flow"
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
My African Pregnancy: Third Trimester
My third trimester being pregnant with baby #2 has thankfully been uneventful. I have seen my doctor every 4 weeks, then 2 weeks and now every week. The baby is measuring ahead and according to my doctor will be a "big baby". Though she states he/she will be between 7-8lbs when born, that is not big by American standards but I guess it is for Africa. Ultrasound measurements put the baby's feet over 3 inches long, no wonder it can kick so forcefully. I have seen some chubby cheeks, hair, and even fat rolls on the ultrasound. Overall, the baby is doing really well and I am thankful the doctor never let the baby's gender slip so we can be surprised when he/she is born.
The other week I also took a tour of the hospital. I was glad to see that the labor and delivery rooms were pretty much the same. Though after the baby is born, you are either put in a room with 3 other moms and their babies or hope to get a private room. I can't imagine trying to get any sleep in a room with 3 other possibly crying babies, but if it is just for 1-2 nights, I can manage. Mark also won't be able to stay over at the hospital which is fine with me since Adalyn would enjoy being at home with him. If this was baby #1, I might be more hesitant. I was surprised by the mother/baby items the hospital provides, originally thinking I would have to bring an entire nursery along. It was also interesting to see that when the babies are in the nursery they put them in an incubator to keep them warm, instead of swaddling them and leaving them in the rolling bassinet.
Most of their procedures seem to be very similar to what I experienced in America. Such as when to call the doctor, options for pain relief, delivery processes, and postpartum care. One appreciated change is that you can eat and drink whatever you want during labor. I am relieved knowing that I have at least done this before with Adalyn so I have an idea of what I am getting myself into, just not sure of how it will go in a different country. One aspect that is different is their procedures for a circumcision. It is not common in South Africa for boys to have circumcisions so they do not perform this procedure at the hospital. A few weeks after birth I would have to take the baby to a pediatric surgeon to have the circumcision. Some of the immunizations are a little different, such as the tuberculosis vaccine, and sometimes offered at different stages. I have my list of when babies are given what in America so I hope to stick to it as close as possible plus add in anything extra recommended for babies here.
With my pregnancy winding down, I am thankful for how smooth this last trimester has gone. I am still able to golf, walking 9 holes each week and I'm able to keep up with Adalyn. She has learned that I cannot carry her and that I have to sit down more often. Adalyn is a mama's girl and before this pregnancy wanted me to do everything so it is nice to see her take to Mark more and their bond strengthen. Adalyn came at 38 weeks and I think that sounds like a good time for baby #2 to make it's appearance, though my doctor thinks she will see me at my 39 week appointment. We are excited for this new addition to our family and to share it with our friends and family.
The other week I also took a tour of the hospital. I was glad to see that the labor and delivery rooms were pretty much the same. Though after the baby is born, you are either put in a room with 3 other moms and their babies or hope to get a private room. I can't imagine trying to get any sleep in a room with 3 other possibly crying babies, but if it is just for 1-2 nights, I can manage. Mark also won't be able to stay over at the hospital which is fine with me since Adalyn would enjoy being at home with him. If this was baby #1, I might be more hesitant. I was surprised by the mother/baby items the hospital provides, originally thinking I would have to bring an entire nursery along. It was also interesting to see that when the babies are in the nursery they put them in an incubator to keep them warm, instead of swaddling them and leaving them in the rolling bassinet.
Most of their procedures seem to be very similar to what I experienced in America. Such as when to call the doctor, options for pain relief, delivery processes, and postpartum care. One appreciated change is that you can eat and drink whatever you want during labor. I am relieved knowing that I have at least done this before with Adalyn so I have an idea of what I am getting myself into, just not sure of how it will go in a different country. One aspect that is different is their procedures for a circumcision. It is not common in South Africa for boys to have circumcisions so they do not perform this procedure at the hospital. A few weeks after birth I would have to take the baby to a pediatric surgeon to have the circumcision. Some of the immunizations are a little different, such as the tuberculosis vaccine, and sometimes offered at different stages. I have my list of when babies are given what in America so I hope to stick to it as close as possible plus add in anything extra recommended for babies here.
With my pregnancy winding down, I am thankful for how smooth this last trimester has gone. I am still able to golf, walking 9 holes each week and I'm able to keep up with Adalyn. She has learned that I cannot carry her and that I have to sit down more often. Adalyn is a mama's girl and before this pregnancy wanted me to do everything so it is nice to see her take to Mark more and their bond strengthen. Adalyn came at 38 weeks and I think that sounds like a good time for baby #2 to make it's appearance, though my doctor thinks she will see me at my 39 week appointment. We are excited for this new addition to our family and to share it with our friends and family.
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| Thankfully the golf course does not enforce their rules that everyone has to wear a collared shirt since I can't find one to fit my belly. |
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Best $2 for an hour of work I have ever spent
Before moving to Africa we knew that by American standards labor would be considerably cheaper. Little did we realize how hard the workers would work for the amount they are paid. I have seen such hard work in our domestic, Joyce, and our gardener, Obit. When looking for a house, we wanted one with a large lawn so Adalyn would have plenty of room to play. We also wanted a private back yard and I feel like we got exactly what we were looking for with our home.
Of course with Mark gone from 5:30am to 6pm every week day, he was not up to doing yard work on the weekends. With the vast amount of labor workers willing to do just about anything we figured a gardener was perfect. Originally the owners of our house hired a gardening service. It consisted of a group of 5 men with their own equipment doing about an hour of work mowing, trimming, racking, etc each week. I did not have much luck with communication between myself and the group of men, nor the owner of the company so we parted ways. Part of the gardening service also provided pool care, where 2 additional men would come once per week to brush the pool, adjust the chemicals and clean the filtration system. Since they were a part of the gardening service we severed ties with them at the same time.
I did not have any luck finding another gardening service but thankfully we found Obit through our neighbors who have had him as their gardener for 3 years and the neighbors across the street have employed him for 14 years. Both of which had nice lawns so we gave it a shot. Obit comes to our home from 8:30-3:30 every Wednesday for $16 US. He originally cost $15 but told me that every March he gets a $1 raise, and I was quite proud of him for asking for a raise so we upped his pay.
Luckily our home also came with quite a few gardening tools and an electric mower. I rarely see a gas mower here, every gardener is carrying an extension cord over their shoulder as they mow. It is also customary to bag all clippings, which to me seems time consuming but when telling a neighbor that in the US we would let the clippings shoot out the mower and lay on the lawn, he gave me a look of disgust. Another time consuming tasks is weeding the driveway. Most driveways here are brick so weeds pop up between the bricks constantly. Obit will spray them but then sits on a paint can and individually pulls out each weed in our large 3 car drive way.
Of course he is trimming the bushes, raking the leaves, but he also takes care of our sprinklers which seem to need a new pipe or head every month. He will plant whatever flowers or plants I come home with and even cut down a dead tree for us. I was quite surprised he cut down an entire tree with a hatchet in the matter of a day, pulling out the stump with his bare hands and all.
I was wondering what we would do with the tree, but he preceded to cut it up and Joyce took it home for fire wood. The trash company here will take all our clippings and dead limbs, which is nice since I am not sure where I could even dispose of them.
Every week Obit also cleans our pool. He brushes it and I take care of the chemicals and cleaning the filter system. Obit will do anything I ask of him, though he will not sit at the table to eat his lunch. He prefers to sit in the grass, but at least he enjoys my cooking, or maybe he complains to Joyce but since they talk in another language I have no idea. Occasionally I cannot understand Obit's English so we will communicate through Joyce and everyone has a good laugh at it. I also cannot get Obit to use our restroom, or in fact come into the house, even when it's raining. If I am talking to him in the front lawn and want to show him something in the back, though it's quicker to go through the house, he won't do it and always walks around.
Obit wears a blue uniform every time he comes, which is common among most of the gardeners. Adalyn thinks every man we see in a blue uniform in Obit, and will wave and call his name at them. I have actually enjoyed seeing the friendship between all the gardeners in the neighborhood. Obit will stop to chat with them, and they always wave at me when I drive by. Some people have their gardener work every day so it's nice to see such friendly faces all the time. I have probably met more gardeners than I have neighbors.
Obit is very quite but with a huge smile greeting me daily. Since he is not much of a talker, I don't know a whole lot about him but he did say that his wife works at a hospital and he has 3 grown children who live near him in a township called Mamelodi. Obit will take the taxis everyday as his walk would be 2+ hours each way. He is a wonderful worker and very nice man. Adalyn enjoys following him around the lawn, using her own broom when he is sweeping and helping him pull weeds. I am very thankful to have found him and enjoy seeing him at the neighbor's home throughout the week.
Of course with Mark gone from 5:30am to 6pm every week day, he was not up to doing yard work on the weekends. With the vast amount of labor workers willing to do just about anything we figured a gardener was perfect. Originally the owners of our house hired a gardening service. It consisted of a group of 5 men with their own equipment doing about an hour of work mowing, trimming, racking, etc each week. I did not have much luck with communication between myself and the group of men, nor the owner of the company so we parted ways. Part of the gardening service also provided pool care, where 2 additional men would come once per week to brush the pool, adjust the chemicals and clean the filtration system. Since they were a part of the gardening service we severed ties with them at the same time.
I did not have any luck finding another gardening service but thankfully we found Obit through our neighbors who have had him as their gardener for 3 years and the neighbors across the street have employed him for 14 years. Both of which had nice lawns so we gave it a shot. Obit comes to our home from 8:30-3:30 every Wednesday for $16 US. He originally cost $15 but told me that every March he gets a $1 raise, and I was quite proud of him for asking for a raise so we upped his pay.
Luckily our home also came with quite a few gardening tools and an electric mower. I rarely see a gas mower here, every gardener is carrying an extension cord over their shoulder as they mow. It is also customary to bag all clippings, which to me seems time consuming but when telling a neighbor that in the US we would let the clippings shoot out the mower and lay on the lawn, he gave me a look of disgust. Another time consuming tasks is weeding the driveway. Most driveways here are brick so weeds pop up between the bricks constantly. Obit will spray them but then sits on a paint can and individually pulls out each weed in our large 3 car drive way.
Of course he is trimming the bushes, raking the leaves, but he also takes care of our sprinklers which seem to need a new pipe or head every month. He will plant whatever flowers or plants I come home with and even cut down a dead tree for us. I was quite surprised he cut down an entire tree with a hatchet in the matter of a day, pulling out the stump with his bare hands and all.
 |
| Obit cut down a tree between these two, almost as tall. I was impressed. |
Every week Obit also cleans our pool. He brushes it and I take care of the chemicals and cleaning the filter system. Obit will do anything I ask of him, though he will not sit at the table to eat his lunch. He prefers to sit in the grass, but at least he enjoys my cooking, or maybe he complains to Joyce but since they talk in another language I have no idea. Occasionally I cannot understand Obit's English so we will communicate through Joyce and everyone has a good laugh at it. I also cannot get Obit to use our restroom, or in fact come into the house, even when it's raining. If I am talking to him in the front lawn and want to show him something in the back, though it's quicker to go through the house, he won't do it and always walks around.
Obit wears a blue uniform every time he comes, which is common among most of the gardeners. Adalyn thinks every man we see in a blue uniform in Obit, and will wave and call his name at them. I have actually enjoyed seeing the friendship between all the gardeners in the neighborhood. Obit will stop to chat with them, and they always wave at me when I drive by. Some people have their gardener work every day so it's nice to see such friendly faces all the time. I have probably met more gardeners than I have neighbors.
Obit is very quite but with a huge smile greeting me daily. Since he is not much of a talker, I don't know a whole lot about him but he did say that his wife works at a hospital and he has 3 grown children who live near him in a township called Mamelodi. Obit will take the taxis everyday as his walk would be 2+ hours each way. He is a wonderful worker and very nice man. Adalyn enjoys following him around the lawn, using her own broom when he is sweeping and helping him pull weeds. I am very thankful to have found him and enjoy seeing him at the neighbor's home throughout the week.
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