Preschool in South Africa

The options for preschool in America are abundant and I would have to say there are just as many choices in South Africa, although navigating the system and finding them in South Africa can be quite difficult.  I mostly relied on word of mouth from other Black and Veatch moms then went and scouted them out.  Not all of the schools teach in English, some do half English and half Afrikaans, others are all Afrikaans.  Some are more formal than others, there are Montessori options and others that resemble more of a day care.  After some searching and interviewing we found a good English school for Adalyn.

Pre-Preparatory Entrance

The African school year runs January to December so Adalyn started at her new school, Tyger Valley College, 2 weeks ago.  Adalyn goes to the Pre-Preparatory school within the college which enrolls students from age 3 through high school.  The year you are in school is based on the age you turn that year, and since Adalyn will turn 4 this year, she is in the Triple Naught class.  Her school days run from 8-2, Monday through Friday with holiday breaks in between.  They are in school about 185 days a year so it is very much like American schools are set up only they do not have a large summer break.  They have 3 terms, split up with long holidays and it will be nice to have about 6 weeks off again around Christmas this year for Adalyn.

Tyger Valley is a private, Christian school that requires uniforms so all the little kids can be seen in green t-shirts and blue Umbro type shorts.  They have matching back packs and lunch bags, plus hats which are required if you want to play outside in the hot African summers.  The older kids have different uniforms that are more formal and their hair and shoe options are limited.  Adalyn was not thrilled one bit that she could not pick out her clothes, but after about 4 days she began to realize that her favorite pink outfit was never going to be an option.  So she picks out her shoes and her hair style every day and that seems to please her.

I think the school looks like a school you would find in Southern California with it's classrooms open to the playground/courtyard in the middle.  Prior to entering the school you pass by 2 different security guards and have to swipe your fingerprint to enter and exit.

Other than a Headmistress which is a new term for us, Adalyn has a teacher and a helper in her class which has 12 students.  Adalyn loves all the activities they are doing and I think the crafts she is brings home are creative.  Adalyn knew some of her classmates from her previous school so that helped and her teacher is just lovely, very warm and sweet.

On Mondays, Adalyn has music class, Thursday is ballet and Friday is gymnastics, all of which is included in the tuition.  Extracurricular activities at a fee are Drama, Math Club and Soccer.  I thought it was quite funny that they offered Drama for a bunch of 3-4 year olds.  Adalyn loves ballet, mostly because she gets to wear her tutu and ballet shoes.  I bet all those little girls are quite the sight to see pointing and twirling.  Adalyn gets about an hour and a half nap at school, though she debates whether she needs to sleep half the time.

Overall, I have been very pleased with her first couple of weeks.  The school has an Intranet so you can stay connected to what is going on and it's a great way to receive announcements.  I was quite discouraged with the process to find a school, always feeling like we were coming up short in one area or another, so to find a school that we all enjoy is a great feeling.  Adalyn will likely spend the next year and a half at Tyger Valley until she is old enough to attend Kindergarten at the American School.  We will see how well Tyger Valley prepares her and whether or not she will be in line with the other students, especially once we return to America.  Until then she can enjoy being a College Girl for now.      

Life with domestic help: Meet Joyce

Before our move to Africa I had spoken with friends who already lived here about what their everyday life was like.  I was excited to learn that everyone had domestic help in the form of what most Americans think of as a maid.  Life in America did not provide me with such help so I was quite accustomed to doing all the house work myself.  Of course I never looked forward to it, but it was just part of the day and I did not know any different.

What a difference it was when we arrived in South Africa and moved into our home knowing I would never have to do laundry, wash dishes, clean bathrooms, etc... again.  The week before we moved in to our home, I interviewed a woman who was recommended to us through another friend living here.  I was not sure what to ask about what she knew how to do, figured it was pretty straight forward work, so we talked about logistics, pay, and I could tell she would be great to have in our home.

Joyce was hired on the spot and started the next week.  So who is Joyce?  She is a 42 year old African, married, mother of 4.  Joyce grew up in the area as a family of 8.  Her mother died when she was 14 and her father left shortly after.  Joyce and her siblings raised themselves with the help of her aunt.  Joyce was able to finish high school and gain employment.  Joyce had 2 children before meeting her husband whom she has been married to for 12 years.  Together they had 2 children which makes 6 children living in her modest home as she took in 2 of her sister's children after her sister died.  Joyce has 2 boys ages 21 and 19, and 2 daughters ages 17 and 3.  The 21 year old no longer lives with her but she does take care of her grandson who is 1.

Modest is not really even the word to describe Joyce's home.  She has a kitchen, dining room, bathroom and a living room which they have put up a partition through the middle of to make 2 bedrooms, one for her and her husband and the other for all the kids to share.  Joyce's home is provided by the government and she pays $25 per month in rent.  Joyce is also responsible for the electricity and water.  Sadly there is no hot water tank and heating up water on the stove costs too much so they go without hot water for bathing.  Her family also goes without heat in the winter and it can get quite chilly at night here.  There is no washer or dryer so she does all laundry by hand.  She is thankful to have running water and a working bathroom, as they are not something all people have in their homes here.

Joyce and her husband are hoping to build onto the home as more space is needed of course.  Her husband has been without a job for a few years, just making ends barely meet with odd jobs in the area.  Joyce works for our family Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 7-3 along with the occasional weekend night so Mark and I can go on a date.  Joyce makes $16 per day for her 8 hours, a rate of $2 per hour.  I had no idea what to pay and our relocation assistant told us that the rate above is what she would recommend for a home our size.  Prior to working for us Joyce worked at a local supermarket making only 90 cents per hour so to say she was pleased with coming to work for us would be an understatement.   Thankfully I was able to find Joyce work on Tuesdays and Thursdays with a friend of ours so she has full time employment.  

Joyce lives 10 miles away and every morning she walks 2 hours to get to our home and makes that same trip back in the afternoon.  There are buses that will take her to and from her home and work but she states they are too expensive and she likes the exercise.  Despite the weather, either rain or the burning sun, she walks with umbrella in hand often times meeting up with friends who work in the neighborhood and they walk together.  I have offered to pay Joyce more so she will take the bus but she refuses stating she wants to walk and does not want the extra money.

If I had to walk 4 hours a day, I would be one lazy employee but not Joyce who works non stop for 8 hours.  Every day when she arrives she washes the dishes, starts the laundry, cleans the bathrooms, mops the floors, changes the linen, dusts the furniture, and the list goes on.  I never have to tell her what to do unless there is something specific I want done.  She will even clean things I don't even think about, like the bottom of our fire pit.  I don't think our house needs cleaned top to bottom every other day but there is no stopping her.  I have tried to convince her that our sheets do not need ironed, but she keeps doing it.  She is fabulous at what she does, getting stains out of things I would have just given up on and thrown away, and she knows what we need before we even realize we need it.

On top of all of her hard work she is unbelievably grateful.  She is always thanking me for supplying the house with cleaners, rags, and mops as if it were somehow expected for her to supply them.  She will thank me endlessly when I pay her or give her items from our home to take with her such as food or clothing.  Sadly though she is often stopped at the gate of our community and I am called by security to see if she stole the items or if I really gave them to her.  Joyce is always willing to eat what I have made for lunch and I try to keep the kitchen stocked with the items she likes such as Coke, Rooibos tea, and bread and butter.

Joyce started out as our hired domestic help but she really has become part of our family.  Adalyn loves Joyce and looks forward to when she is babysitting.  I can trust her with anything from my open purse on the  counter to my jewelry and of course my child.  I have managed to teach her some American recipes and share with her what life is like in the states, but what she has done for me cannot be returned.  She will rarely accept money so giving her family Christmas presents or supplying her with food and clothes is one way I have found to show my appreciation.  She is a very kind, loyal, giving and an amazing Christian who will buy food weekly for her church pastor despite what her family needs.  I have never once heard her complain about anything in life and she always has a positive outlook.  I look forward to having her work full time when the baby comes as I can't imagine trusting my newborn to anyone better.  

The longest and worst flight in the world

*I am going to give a little warning here as this blog post is not for those with sensitive stomachs who cannot stand to read about bodily fluids.  If that is you, skipping this blog post is probably in your best interest.

The direct flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta is the current "world's longest flight" and I can vouch for that.  Having taken the flight 3 times with 3 different experiences each time, I am looking forward to not taking it again for quite some time.

The first time we boarded the 17 hour direct flight was to move our family to South Africa.  Mark's company paid for us to travel first class, I was not pregnant and had Mark to help me so that flight went smoothly with Adalyn sleeping almost 11 hours and I am sure being able to lay flat on the plane helped that.

The second time I took the flight Adalyn and I went together back to KC in December.  I was 18 weeks pregnant, we were able to get family seating with Delta which is a row with two seats instead of three.  Adalyn slept 9 hours, watched a little tv, walked around the plane with me, ate well, and it was uneventful.

The third time I took the flight was to travel back to South Africa in January.  I was 22 weeks pregnant, Delta messed up and did not give us family seating but luckily we were seated in a row with a nice, young gentleman.  After the 2 hour flight to Atlanta followed by a 2.5 hour layover, we were ready for our last leg of the trip.  But the plane had to wait an additional 45 mins while we were all seated to finish loading the luggage.  Adalyn and I played and I tried to entertain her best as I could in our little section.  Once we were at cruising altitude Adalyn enjoyed watching "The Little Mermaid", and once it was over dinner had arrived.  Adalyn was not interested in eating but for a girl who gets very little tv I am sure the allure of it right in front of you is hard to pass up so I let her watch another show and tried my best to get some food in her.

Now we are about 3 hours past her normal bedtime so I made her turn the tv off which upset her greatly and she refused to sit in her seat or lay down to sleep.  Instead she stood in her seat and watched the various screens of those passengers in front of us despite not being able to hear what they were watching (I am thankful they were at least watching PG movies).  Another 30 minutes pass and I get her to lay down but she only managed to sleep about 5 hours.  Most of that was tossing and turning as we had a little less room than we did in the family seating section.  So with her head on my legs she kept pushing her head into my pregnant belly which made it hard for me to sleep, resulting in about 2 hours of restless sleep.

Once she woke up I tried to get her to walk around the plane but she would not have it.  I wanted to stand to stretch my legs but she would not let me be more than a foot away from her, so we ended up seated most of the time.  With the tv right in front of her again and me being too tired to come up with new activities in our seats, I let her watch another program.  In the middle of this she kept dropping things on the floor which is hard enough to retrieve in those tiny spaces, let alone with a pregnant belly making it difficult for you to bend over.

With 4 hours left until we arrive in Johannesburg I took Adalyn to the bathroom only for her to point out, "Mommy, you peed your pants".  Only it was not pee, I was leaking fluid from somewhere.  Sheer panic set in as I tried to figure out what is going on with my body while the two of us are squeezed into the airplane bathroom.  I was racking my brain and trying to stay calm amid the tears while figuring out what to do.  My pants were more dry than my underwear so I knew I had not sat in anything wet which is what I had hoped for.  We returned to our seats where I sat on my neck cushion as there is a perfect hole in the center that I was hoping would provide some air to dry out my pants.  I turned the tv back on for Adalyn while I sat and prayed.

At 22 weeks I knew the baby would have no chance of survival being born on an airplane and probably would not in an African hospital so I did not alert any flight attendants.  I figured there was nothing on board that would help and the closest decent hospital is likely in Johannesburg anyway since we are currently in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.  I decided to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes which I am sure amused the young man next to me but I did not care.  I got Adalyn engrossed enough in a movie that I went without her  only to return finding her crying in the seat because her head phones had come unplugged.  Luckily there was no additional fluid.  Another 15 minutes passed and I attempted to go to the bathroom again but of course Adalyn would not let me out of her sight this time so we went together.  Another good sign as things had stayed the same, so we sat back down and I prayed.

The next 4 hours were probably the longest of my life not knowing what was going on or what to do.  Adalyn was also not enjoying her time as when the flight attendants would come over the speaker it would mute her program which would inevitably upset her to no end.  She pretty much refused her breakfast, I could not eat, and she was so over tired that multiple meltdowns happened over anything.  As we started to descend the nausea and sweating set in.  It felt as if we were going extremely fast and I hurried to find something to throw up in only to realize that Delta no longer provides the little paper bags in the seat back pocket.  So I waded up one of the airplane blankets and held it in front of me in hopes that it would at least catch what was about to come up.  During the decent the televisions turn off, so guess who was quite upset again, poor Adalyn, but I could not even talk as I was trying to swallow what was now in my throat.  She started crying and pretty much threw herself on the floor in front of her seat.  I tried to get in her in her seat and put her seat belt on, but it was no use as I could not physically pick her up from that position and she was going to be of no help.  Luckily no flight attendant came around so I let it go and hoped for the best.

The landing was quick and no throw up emerged from my body but we could not get off that plane fast enough.  Adalyn, I assume, could sense that I was in a hurry which is why she refused to get off the plane.  I had a backpack, a duffel bag and 2 carry on suitcases so carrying her was not an option.  The flight attendants would only help carry one bag from section to section so I was on my own.  I got her out of the row and pleaded with her to walk which she only did if I let her hold onto my leg.  There is not much room in those aisles even to fit a 3 year old beside you but we managed, with lots of tears from Adalyn, and got off the flight.  It is a bit of a walk to the customs area and luckily an airport worker saw that I was about to have a breakdown and offered to carry our bags.  With Adalyn still refusing to walk and after attempting to carry her which would only last about 20 feet at a time, I again had a crying child.

Customs went quickly as we got to go through the disabled line but our baggage was slow to come out. I sat in a wheelchair and the nice airport worker gathered all of our 5 suitcases, the stroller and the car seat.  The Johannesburg airport does not allow non passengers to come to baggage claim so we met Mark at the car and I don't think he was expecting the disaster of a mess he was picking up.  Adalyn was calm but started in on her million question mode which I told Mark he had to answer from now on.  I blurted out about everything I could from the flight and was thankful to be back home.

I went and saw my OB/GYN, we had an ultrasound and there is plenty of amniotic fluid remaining, what a relief.  She thought the pressure from the flight might have caused me to leak some and luckily no additional fluid came out after the first occurrence.  After lots of "Thank you Jesus" I was just relieved that the whole ordeal was over.  I learned a lot and it is definitely one experience burned into my memory which I hope to never repeat again.  Needless to say, I will not be taking the "longest flight in the world" again alone and pregnant with a child.        

American Indulgences

Of course I was excited to come back to America to see family and friends but I was also looking forward to some American food.  Over my 4.5 weeks back I have managed to eat about everything I wanted plus some.  The food in Africa is not that different but there are definitely some types of cuisine or food items that they either don't have or it does not taste the same as it does in America.

In have indulged on Mexican, BBQ, properly cooked steak, sweet potatoes, roast turkey and ham, Pop Tarts, real ice cream, bagels, a variety of cereal, string cheese, Cheeze Its, Hot Pockets, sweet tea, diet caffeine free Pepsi, Velveeta, thick crust pizza, ranch dressing, and a variety of properly sweetened desserts.  I am sure my body was in full shock when I arrived and will take some time to get used to my African cuisine once I return in a few days, but it was all worth it.

I have also manged to pack a variety of items for myself and friends to go back to Africa so we can at least enjoy some American food a bit.  I have packed peach tea (a years supply in fact because I am addicted), 2 blocks of velveeta, 5 bags of chocolate chips, 4 cans of pumpkin, and hundreds of zip lock bags because all Africa carries are rejects from Ziplock at an outrageous price.  I also included aluminum foil and cling wrap because what I have found over there might as well have come from the dollar store.  For my friends I have picked up powdered Gatorade, Go Lean cereal, canned collard greens and black eyed peas, Good Seasonings salad dressing and a roll of Copenhangen (I am sure the check out gal thought I was buying for a minor the way I was unusre of what I was saying).  

I am looking forward to getting back to Africa in a few days but will miss the ability to go out and get whatever food I want.  I will not miss the price that comes with eating out in America, some steakhouses seem completely outrageous with my new African mindset on cost. It will be quite a while before we get back to America so I have some time to miss my favorite foods all over again.