One of many great aspects about living in South Africa is the ability to have your domestic help with your kids. We love our domestic, Joyce, and knew she would be fantastic to help out with Grant. Adalyn loves Joyce who is so caring, loving and playful with her. I had not spoken to Joyce much before Grant's arrival about how we raise and care for our kids and figured with some simple instruction she would be able to pick up on what we do.
One week after Grant was born, Mark went back to work and I started having Joyce help me in the morning to get Adalyn fed and dressed to get out the door to school while caring for Grant. Once Grant was fed, I would load Adalyn into the car and hand Grant off to Joyce telling her to rock him to sleep. The first day upon returning from Adalyn's school, I found Joyce in the living room just talking to Grant who was wide awake. I asked her if he just did not want to sleep, to which she said he did not, so I picked him up and immediately after a few minutes of rocking he feel fast asleep.
Day number two of handing Grant off to Joyce I gave a little more instruction. I told her to go into his room, and just rock him the whole time and he will surely fall asleep. After arriving back home, I found Joyce in Grant's room, sitting in his rocker holding Grant out in front of her looking at him and talking. I again asked if he did not want to sleep to which she said he did not, so I picked him up and again he fell asleep immediately after rocking for a few minutes.
On the eve of day number three I started to realize that maybe some of my terms were getting lost in translation. I took Joyce up to Grant's room and told her to cradle Grant in her arms and rock in the rocking chair the entire time I am gone so hopefully he will fall asleep. This day I was smarter and waited a bit before leaving so I would watch on Grant's monitor what would happen. Joyce cradled Grant, sat in the rocker but did not rock. I then realized that the term "rock" was foreign to her. I should have figured since when I spoke to her about buying a rocking chair she had never heard of such a thing. I could only find two companies who specialized in making them as none were sold in the furniture and baby stores I visited (trying to physically explain/demonstrate to sales people about rocking chairs was quite comical).
On day three I went back into Grant's room and had to physically show Joyce how to rock in a rocking chair. Both she and I had a good laugh as she learned how to rock a baby in a rocking chair not realizing you keep up the repetitive motion. Joyce then mentioned that the chair would make her fall asleep, I told her that was kind of the point, at least for the baby. Now that we had the rocking down I began to ask her more about caring for her kids to see what else may be completely different.
Joyce said that she would carry her babies on her back all day. Using a blanket, the baby would be tightly strapped to her back where it would remain all day except for feedings and diaper changes. The amount of work Joyce would have in a day would not allow her time to interact with her baby much so by wearing the baby on her back she could be more productive and still be with her baby. This is an extremely common practice among the Africans. I told her that the movement her babies feel by being worn on her back is similar to rocking and helps them go to sleep.
Our rocking chair is not the only item that is foreign to Joyce. Her children never had a crib (always sleeping in bed with her) or a swing or bouncer as those items were not practical for their budget or lifestyle. Everything from a changing table (Joyce would use a bed or the floor) to car seats (Joyce does not have a car and her kids don't ride in taxis) to high chairs (Joyce never had one and her kid's have never eaten at a restaurant to use one) really seems unnecessary to her. When I brought home a bath seat for the baby to sit in while being bathed, Joyce had no idea what it was and after I explained it she chuckled then asked why we don't just hold the baby. After viewing all of Grant's baby items through her perspective I realize that we do have an overwhelming amount of stuff for one little guy that we could do without, but strangely I also feel like I need each one of them.
For all the hardships that Joyce and her community face they are beyond resourceful and maybe if I just carried Grant around all day and nixed all of his baby items life would be more simple. Joyce's kids are just as happy as mine and loved just the same. It is easy to get caught up in the overwhelming amount of information and pressure on getting your kid ahead in life which is thrown at you even before birth and one product over another can make all the difference....so the market says. Before having Adalyn I felt like I needed all these items and I could not have the baby go without or somehow it would be a reflection on how good of a mom I was. While I was teaching Joyce how to use a rocking chair, I learned that I take all the modern baby conveniences for granted. The love Joyce shows to Grant melts my heart and even if it's going to take some time for her to learn how to get him to sleep, I know he is being cared for well and loved beyond measure.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Leopard Lovin
During one of the several holidays this past May in South Africa we traveled to the Lory Park Zoo as we heard there were baby leopards you could play with. Having pet and played with so many other animals, I was excited to knock this one off our list and have another great experience with the wildlife here. About 30 minutes from our home, in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere again, is a small zoo with several animals. 
The zoo had an array of birds, but also thrown in are crocodiles, tigers, lions, lizards, fish, black jaguars, and 3 adorable baby leopards. I was not aware prior to arriving but the zoo does not allow pregnant women to play with the leopards. Adalyn and Mark spent about 10 minutes cuddling them just like house cats and playing with them. 
An African zoo is not complete unless there are bunnies to be fed and pet. Adalyn has this activity down and the bunnies don't seem to see her coming. She is not afraid to pick them right up, with their feet running as fast as they can to get away therefore she thinks she just needs to hold them tighter.
It was a nice morning activity, we will likely go back again as you can't pass up leopard cubs.
 |
| 2 lions in the background |
I thought this sign was funny on the back of the ladies bathroom stall.
Never thought of it as a "performance" before.
Monday, June 9, 2014
A year in review
One year ago today we had our entire lives packed up and moved across the globe to Pretoria, South Africa. I was beyond excited and really not apprehensive at all. We had a few friends here who told us what to expect but I can't really do justice to explaining our life here. If anyone has the chance to visit South Africa I would highly recommend it. We love living here and all the surprises that have come from the experience.
Living the life of an ex-pat, the friends you make soon become your family. I was surprised by the sense of community among the Black and Veatch families. Right away we made friends who help us celebrate life's events, fill in as family for the holidays, and it feels like we have known them for years. I feel like we hit the jackpot on friends in both America and South Africa.
Another surprise was the cost of living. I did not expect that it would be significantly cheaper to go out to eat, attend events, and enjoy the attractions here. With the cost lower, we have been able to do every activity we wanted which has made our experience here even better. The cost to travel or vacation has not been cheaper and this country is much larger than I expected making vacations harder to plan with Mark's work schedule.
Animal interactions was something that I did not expect. I knew there would be opportunities to go on safari but to pet cheetahs, lions, and any other animal you can think of at a low cost and close by was surprising. Being able to interact with the animals is my favorite thing about living here and I love how open Africa is to helping you experience the wildlife.
One aspect we have experienced that I did not realize before our move is how prevalent racism is. Twenty years have passed since the Apartheid ended yet racism is very apparent here everyday. I am saddened when I hear the white Africans spew racist comments to the black Africans as if no growth has gone on in the last twenty years. Even more shocking is how some white Africans will speak to me as if I would agree with their comments and must hold the same racist opinions as them. Knowing what to say and how to react is something I struggle with but hope to at least show compassion for the situations the black Africans have been put in.
I am not sure I will ever get used to the level of poverty here in South Africa. In America I would see homeless people and homes in total disrepair housing families but nothing to the extent that South Africa has. From dilapidated homes that really are just sheets of metal held together without water or electricity, to the 50 plus people who stand right outside our community's security gates each day hoping for work, the need for help is apparent. People asking for money on the side of the road in America normally stand there with a sign, here in South Africa they get on their knees and beg at your window with praying hands. Children are roadside with their parents asking for help and whole communities live in sewage filled valleys because there is no where else to turn.
Right next to these homes and poverty filled areas are shopping malls, grocery stores and all the other similar amenities you can get in America. I have been surprised by how similar the industrial parts of South Africa look to America. Though in America you cannot find a playground and child care attendants at every restaurant which is something we, and of course Adalyn, love. The family and kid friendly environment of Pretoria has been very welcoming and a wonderful place to raise a family.
Upon moving here I knew there were several different languages spoken (11 total official ones) and partly expected Adalyn to pick up some Afrikaans but never thought she would use different English words to mean the same thing we are used to saying. Instead of saying "clean up", Adalyn says "tidy up". She calls the "trash can", a "dust bin", and says we "must" and "ought" to do something instead of saying we "need" or "should". When speaking about money she says "Rand" and not "dollars", and uses their slang such as "now now" which I still can't figure out what time frame that means. I hope even after we move back to America, she keeps using her new vocabulary.
Some of America's amenities that I miss are central heat and air. It can get quite warm here of course during the summer months, but even in the winter, the nights are cold and crawling into a cold bed or just putting on your cold clothes in the morning make me miss a heater. Of course I miss some American food and although we have adjusted just fine to the options here, I can't help but think about all the recipes I can't make or treats I can't enjoy because they are not sold here. Though it is better for our health, I do miss the sweetness of American desserts and don't even bother buying any at the stores or restaurants, they just don't make the cut.
A year ago when we told people we were moving here they would always ask if we were either with the military or missionaries. In South Africa, when we tell people we are from America, they ask if we work with the Embassy or what company we are with, never a question about the military or volunteering. Some people will treat us differently when they find out we are American. Most of the black Africans will not speak to me until I have spoken to them, but once I open the conversation they are very warm and talkative. It is not unusual for people to ask me if I know American celebrities and I do get comments about Americans having an endless amount of money. Making friends with the black and white Africans has not been a problem, though communication can still be difficult even with both parties using English as we tend to use the same words differently.
We are one year into our two year contract with hopes to stay longer if given the opportunity. I have learned so much about myself and have grown as a person by living here. Of course the addition of our son, Grant, and watching Adalyn grow up in a truly unique environment have been amazing experiences. When I get sad about missing our life back in America, it only takes a few minutes of looking around at the opportunities here to realize that moving to South Africa was the best decision Mark and I made for our family.
Living the life of an ex-pat, the friends you make soon become your family. I was surprised by the sense of community among the Black and Veatch families. Right away we made friends who help us celebrate life's events, fill in as family for the holidays, and it feels like we have known them for years. I feel like we hit the jackpot on friends in both America and South Africa.
Another surprise was the cost of living. I did not expect that it would be significantly cheaper to go out to eat, attend events, and enjoy the attractions here. With the cost lower, we have been able to do every activity we wanted which has made our experience here even better. The cost to travel or vacation has not been cheaper and this country is much larger than I expected making vacations harder to plan with Mark's work schedule.
Animal interactions was something that I did not expect. I knew there would be opportunities to go on safari but to pet cheetahs, lions, and any other animal you can think of at a low cost and close by was surprising. Being able to interact with the animals is my favorite thing about living here and I love how open Africa is to helping you experience the wildlife.
One aspect we have experienced that I did not realize before our move is how prevalent racism is. Twenty years have passed since the Apartheid ended yet racism is very apparent here everyday. I am saddened when I hear the white Africans spew racist comments to the black Africans as if no growth has gone on in the last twenty years. Even more shocking is how some white Africans will speak to me as if I would agree with their comments and must hold the same racist opinions as them. Knowing what to say and how to react is something I struggle with but hope to at least show compassion for the situations the black Africans have been put in.
I am not sure I will ever get used to the level of poverty here in South Africa. In America I would see homeless people and homes in total disrepair housing families but nothing to the extent that South Africa has. From dilapidated homes that really are just sheets of metal held together without water or electricity, to the 50 plus people who stand right outside our community's security gates each day hoping for work, the need for help is apparent. People asking for money on the side of the road in America normally stand there with a sign, here in South Africa they get on their knees and beg at your window with praying hands. Children are roadside with their parents asking for help and whole communities live in sewage filled valleys because there is no where else to turn.
Right next to these homes and poverty filled areas are shopping malls, grocery stores and all the other similar amenities you can get in America. I have been surprised by how similar the industrial parts of South Africa look to America. Though in America you cannot find a playground and child care attendants at every restaurant which is something we, and of course Adalyn, love. The family and kid friendly environment of Pretoria has been very welcoming and a wonderful place to raise a family.
Upon moving here I knew there were several different languages spoken (11 total official ones) and partly expected Adalyn to pick up some Afrikaans but never thought she would use different English words to mean the same thing we are used to saying. Instead of saying "clean up", Adalyn says "tidy up". She calls the "trash can", a "dust bin", and says we "must" and "ought" to do something instead of saying we "need" or "should". When speaking about money she says "Rand" and not "dollars", and uses their slang such as "now now" which I still can't figure out what time frame that means. I hope even after we move back to America, she keeps using her new vocabulary.
Some of America's amenities that I miss are central heat and air. It can get quite warm here of course during the summer months, but even in the winter, the nights are cold and crawling into a cold bed or just putting on your cold clothes in the morning make me miss a heater. Of course I miss some American food and although we have adjusted just fine to the options here, I can't help but think about all the recipes I can't make or treats I can't enjoy because they are not sold here. Though it is better for our health, I do miss the sweetness of American desserts and don't even bother buying any at the stores or restaurants, they just don't make the cut.
A year ago when we told people we were moving here they would always ask if we were either with the military or missionaries. In South Africa, when we tell people we are from America, they ask if we work with the Embassy or what company we are with, never a question about the military or volunteering. Some people will treat us differently when they find out we are American. Most of the black Africans will not speak to me until I have spoken to them, but once I open the conversation they are very warm and talkative. It is not unusual for people to ask me if I know American celebrities and I do get comments about Americans having an endless amount of money. Making friends with the black and white Africans has not been a problem, though communication can still be difficult even with both parties using English as we tend to use the same words differently.
We are one year into our two year contract with hopes to stay longer if given the opportunity. I have learned so much about myself and have grown as a person by living here. Of course the addition of our son, Grant, and watching Adalyn grow up in a truly unique environment have been amazing experiences. When I get sad about missing our life back in America, it only takes a few minutes of looking around at the opportunities here to realize that moving to South Africa was the best decision Mark and I made for our family.
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