Friday, November 14, 2014

A lesson in resilience


If you read my blogs then you have come to know a little bit about Joyce, the wonderful woman who works in our home.  I have talked about her living conditions, a bit about her childhood and her day to day life.  Joyce is the sole financial supporter of the 8 family members in her humble home with her husband helping out financially when he can find work.  Living off of approximately $350 a month with that large of a family definitely categorizes her as someone who lives in poverty, even here in South Africa.  What amazes me is how savvy and resourceful she is.

For instance, shortly after she started working for us over a year ago I would see her pulling items out of our trash and taking them home.  Items such as broken bracelets, torn flip flops, used coloring books, dried up markers, pieces of string, empty water bottles, etc…  What I had considered trash, Joyce knew a use for them.  The flip flops she took to a man in her neighborhood who could fix them.  Despite the coloring pages being all colored, she said her daughter would like to just look at them.  The string could be put together to make things, and the list goes on and on.  Now I think twice before throwing something away, as I know Joyce may be able to use it.

Sadly, there are items that I wish she did not have to pull out of our trash.  A few months after Joyce began working for us, I had about $4 in chicken breast spoil in our fridge.  I was about to put it in the trash when she stopped me and said she wanted them.  I asked her about being afraid to get sick from eating spoiled chicken, but she replied, “but it’s $4 worth of chicken!”.  Joyce said she would clean it off with vinegar and it would cook up just fine.   I told her I would rather give her $4 and she can go buy new chicken, but she said that this chicken was just fine. 

Now Joyce takes home any molded bread, rotten fruit and most recently green, furry, molded meat.  Just this past week I had bought some biltong (beef jerky type meat) and within a few days it had green mold all over it.  I feel the need to hide some items in the trash because I just don’t see how her family would not get sick from eating it, but Joyce once again said she would take it home.  Joyce said she would wash off the green, furry mold and cook it in oil, so I reluctantly handed it over.   To me she is brave and savvy in how she feeds her family, though the situation is horrific and heart wrenching.  

It is sickening to me that Joyce and her family are eating these items, but she does not think twice about them.  Her entire life she has had to be resourceful and I am sure her stomach can withstand different foods than mine.  When you are feeding a family of 8 with limited income, I bet you do what you can.  I don’t know what amount of money it would take for Joyce to feel comfortable throwing rotten food out, and I am not sure after 40+ years of her current mind set would even allow herself to do so.  When I bring Joyce home groceries from the store, she does not act any more content with “brand new and fresh food” than what she can find around our house that’s ready to spoil.    

Joyce has taught me so much about life.  She has had to make these types of choices so her family does not go hungry, and thankfully she says they have never have felt that way.  Your entire outlook is really dependent on how you approach obstacles.  Life is not about what you have or don’t have, but those you love.  While I think about her situation in sadness, it is good life to her and a happy one at that.  I constantly battle with the feelings if I am doing enough, am I being a good Christian and sharing my blessings.   I know there are people even worse off than Joyce and her family, who are starving and don’t have family members such as Joyce to help them out.  No matter where you are at on the scale of poverty and need, there is always something that can be done.  Not all the poor are starving but that should not stop everyone from giving.


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