Christmas in Africa

Rosie, our Elf on a Shelf (or in this case on a giraffe)

Christmas is fast approaching and this is the first time in 31 years I have not spent it with my entire extended family.   While I do miss my family traditions and seeing everyone, part of living in Africa is to experience the holidays here.  There are quite a few differences about celebrating the holidays in Africa versus back home in the States.

First and most notable is the weather.  In Missouri, it would be freezing, everyone in winter attire and hoping for a white Christmas.  In Africa, I am enjoying 80 and 90 degree weather, shorts and tank tops, rounds of golf and dinner outside.

Grant loves the water and since he tends to fall right over, we sit pool side together.
 His little pool is always much warmer than the big pool. 

Never thought we would be swimming around Christmas time, but almost every day Adalyn plays in the water.

Since when does a 4 year old need to lay out reading a magazine!

Practicing clearing Mark's head with her pool jumps.

When we came back to the States last Christmas I did think it was a bit depressing being cooped up inside all day, going stir crazy and not even feeling like venturing out for dinner.  Even though the weather is nice, it does not quite feel like Christmas with the summer atmosphere here.

In South Africa, how Christmas is celebrated is different.  NO ONE WORKS.  I love that this country fully celebrates the holidays, stores shut down, everyone enjoys their family time and you are able to forget about the hustle of life.  During Christmas time, most people will take off several weeks, no matter what type of job they have, many actually take the month off and are on vacation most of that time.  This is the longest break of the year for kids in South African schools, so the entire family can enjoy several weeks off together. 

Christmas decorating is different.  The stores will fill with fake Christmas trees (most looks a little sparse) and wrapping paper and play holiday music a few months back, but a real Christmas tree cannot be found.  Since I did not know how many more Christmases we would get to spend here, I chose to have us decorate a tall plant in our home.

Adalyn did not care and we all know Mark is too laid back to have an opinion on the matter, so Adalyn and I made our own ornaments using Christmas plates and cookie cutters then strung lights around to complete our look.  

I had family bring over our stockings but most of the house is decorated

 in crafts Adalyn has made at school. 

 I was happy to find a nice manger scene at an African craft market that I plan to 

bring back to the States with us. 

Very few neighbors also put up Christmas lights so things do not look too different than any other day.

Christmas shopping at the malls is different as well.  There are Santas at most locations but no lines of children waiting to sit on his lap.

Adalyn was not taking a turn with Santa this year.
She kept her distance, about 15 feet away. 

 Every year I purchase Christmas themed pajamas for Adalyn and now Grant but I have yet to be able to find any here.   I rarely see wreaths or swags of evergreen (even the fake ones).  What you do find at all the stores are Christmas crackers.  They are basically mini presents that when pulled apart, make a “pop/crack” sound and candy/prizes fall out.  Adalyn got to test some out at her school Christmas party and they were a hit.

I have made most of my Christmas chocolate treats this year with the exception of a few due to not being able to find the items here and not remembering to have family bring them over.  I never would have guessed that I couldn't locate light corn syrup, so I had to make some this year and it was way easier than I expected.  Making a mass quantity of chocolate treats in the African heat with no air conditioning is not the most conducive to a quality finished product but they sure do taste good. 

We will celebrate this year by hosting Joyce’s family for a BBQ (Joyce is the wonderful woman who works in our home).  This will be the first time most of her kids, including her husband will have been to our home.  Joyce says they are excited to swim as some have never done that before, including Joyce herself.  I just hope they like my American cooking and feel relaxed around us to enjoy themselves.  I enjoyed Christmas shopping for them, though surprisingly it was tough to find an African baby doll and Barbie, but I prevailed after my 8^th toy store, which is quite sad given the percentage of people who are African here. 

We will also celebrate with our friends at a Christmas day BBQ after Adalyn has opened all of her and probably Grant’s gifts.  I am interested to see what type of Christmas Eve service our church has.  I miss our church back home and loved the candelight service with Oh, Holy Night being sung.  We will rely on Skype this year to attend our family Christmases back in the States,  I have already watched family open some gifts and it was enjoyable.  It is nice to be making new memories and knowing that we can continue some of our own family traditions here in South Africa. 

Adalyn 1st year of school

Adalyn with her friends Sumin and Nosa at their gymnastic performance.

Wednesday was the last day of school for Adalyn this year.  Since her school term runs January to December, she has finished grade Triple Naught (000) and will be moving onto grade Double Naught (00) in mid-January.  It has been a fantastic year for Adalyn who really blossomed socially and enjoyed everything Tyger Valley has to offer.

Last week Adalyn had a ballet recital and it was precious.  I don't care if she pranced around, twirled or curtised, just seeing all those ballerinas dressed up was enough for me.  Adalyn really enjoyed ballet and would show off her new skills at home. 

 During their final “performance” of the recital the song they danced to had lyrics and being the music lover she is, Adalyn sang along with the chorus despite her teacher’s instruction not too.  I got a little giggle out of watching her do it and I am glad she will continue to enjoy ballet next year.

Two weeks ago Adalyn’s class showed off their gymnastic moves to the parents.  It was fun to watch them all maneuver the obstacles, roll in a ball, hang from the bars and jump through the air.  

I do think that the gymnastics she took in the US was much more advanced, but she loves it just the same.  Adalyn made sure to go through the line of obstacles with her best friend from class, Eleni.

Tennis is now finished though they did not have an opportunity to show what they have learned to the parents.  Mrs. Nunan did tell me that Adalyn can hit a tennis ball coming at her with the racket now and that Adalyn is quite proud of herself.  Mark may now try to get Adalyn to hit a few balls with him since when he tries to help her with golf, she just rides the club like a horse.

The entire school had a music concert a few months back.  The theme was Holidays Around the World and Adalyn’s class had Dubai.  She dressed up like a little lady going shopping with her purse, jewelry and some lipstick on.  Adalyn was quite shy coming on stage with her class and although she refused to sing, she did at least stand there.  If you get her at home and turn on her “Frozen” cd, you would never guess she is shy as she belts that right out .   

The friendships Adalyn has made this year are quite sweet.   She now asks if her friends can come over to play and Adalyn will tell me if her friends are sick or on a trip. 

Adalyn misses them when they are gone and always wants to share her lunch or a new gift she has received with them.  I love that Adalyn has made friends with other kids from around the world.

  Adalyn's current best girlfriends at school are Sumin from South Korea, Nosa from Nigeria and Eleni from Romania (pictured in that order above).  Of course she pretty much sticks to playing with the girls at school, probably because most of her friends outside of school are boys. 

Adalyn being in school and getting invited to all of the other kid’s birthday parties has given me the opportunity to meet the parents and know all the other classmates better.  I will miss seeing them all in her class next year but happy that a few of her good friends will have her same teacher next year.

Adalyn with her friends Eleni, Gemma and Mrs. Nunan

 Adalyn was blessed to have Mrs. Nunan this year, she is lovely, caring and creative with the kids.  We could not have asked for a better teacher and will miss her next year.
 
Adalyn has learned way more than I expected and loves all the fun times with her new friends so we are pleased with Tyger Valley and looking forward to another year there.

Retail Therapy

People back in the US are always asking me what the shopping is like here in South Africa.  What brands are there?  What stores do you have that are also in the US?  Etc...  So I thought I would write a little bit about retail therapy.

There are several indoor and outdoor malls just like in the US, some so big I get lost every time and others much easier to navigate.  Located inside the malls is what is most different from the US.  Here in South Africa the malls are filled with banks, pharmacies, grocery stores and of course clothing, shoes and jewelry stores.  Cafes and restaurants are also plentiful in the malls here.

Some of the stores we have here in South Africa are also found in the US such as Adidas, Lacoste, Polo, Aldo, Steve Madden, Rage, Diesel, Guess, Tommy Hilfiger and Sunglass Hut.  Found at a mall about 45 minutes from us is more upscale shopping with stores such as Louis Vuitton & Salvatore Ferragamo.  Then there are stores like JCrew which would sell to men and women in the US but here it's only for men.  A couple of stores here look likes ones back in the US but have different names.  I swear we have an Old Navy here as the displays, clothes and set up are just like that store, but here it's called Pick-N-Pay Clothing.  When I asked the workers if they had ever heard of Old Navy, they of course said "no".

The clothes in the stores can either come in sizes from the US, the UK, Euro, or South Africa.  It does not matter if I check the tags, I always have to try it on as I can't remember my size.  I have found that Adalyn wears a way bigger size in some of the South African clothes, for instance I bought her pajamas for a size 8 girl, though she would normally wear a 4-5 in the US.

Shoes are also different depending on where they are from.  In the US I wear a size 8.5-9 and here I am normally in a size 7.  Not all stores sell shoes in half sizes either, you are sometimes limited to a size too big or too small.  Clothes and shoes are labeled differently too.  Tennis shoes are know as tekkies and most of the baby clothing is called something different.  A onsie is called a vest here, overalls are called rompers or dungarees, and what I call footed pajamas is called a grower.

Regardless of any differences, I have been able to shop without any issues, having family bring over necessary clothing items that we need which I can't find here.  To get items at the same quality as in the US, I think you do have to pay more here.  It is nice to have a mall that is a one stop shop for banking, grocery, pharmacy and clothing needs.  

Grant is 6 months

On November 15th, Grant turned 6 months old, though it feels like he has been in our family for years.  It is amazing how a tiny person can fill your family with so much love.

  I think it is Adalyn who Grant loves most.  Every morning she wants him sitting in his high chair right next to her chair while she eats breakfast.  She is even willing to pick up all of the toys he so diligently drops on the floor.  When we change her clothes for school, he has to come along and often she will have a mini school session with Grant right before we leave.

Recently Adalyn received the soundtrack to the movie "Frozen" and plays it non stop, singing and "helping" Grant dance.  I love to watch them interact, he is pretty infatuated with her and will laugh and smile at anything she does.  This of course encourages the strangest of behaviors from her but they have fun together so that is all that matters.



My mom also bought Grant a walker which he can't "walk" with yet but loves to sit in and play with the toys.  Adalyn loves to push him around the house and we have speed limits now as she can get pretty fast.

Grant is enjoying life just being chill.  He has decided that laying on his stomach is not as horrific as he once thought, though he will roll over immediately once there.  He can roll from his back to his stomach with a little resistance.  Adalyn loves to roll him like a log and help him reach any milestone.

  

We are working on sitting, he falls over pretty fast but in time will acquire that skill.  Grant is very laid back so I am not sure he is in a hurry to do anything, except growing teeth.

At 4 months and 6 days old, Grant sprouted his first teeth.  The bottom two came in together and with very minimal teething.  He loves to chew on a frozen wash cloth and this vibrating teether.  Grant has not drooled much so sometimes it is a shock when another tooth pops through as his 3rd and 4th one arrived yesterday to our surprise.  He sure enjoys eating with his new teeth and seems to be a bottomless pit.

I decided to make Grant's baby food and I have really enjoyed it.  Way easier than I expected and luckily he has enjoyed everything I have put in his mouth.  I have introduced Grant to the sippy cup and he mostly likes to chew on it.  I was hoping he would take a bottle so I would not have to worry if I needed to be gone for a feeding, but he has protested.  Can't say that I mind, it is nice to be wanted and I love my time with him.

Grant is a great sleeper getting in 2.5 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon and a short 30 minutes before dinner followed by sleeping 11 hours at night without waking.  Beyond thankful for sleep training.









Grant now weighs 18.3 pounds and is 27.5 inches long.  He is in 6-9 month clothing, mostly due to a long torso as he can still wear 3-6 month pants.



Grant has had his first cold and visited the doctor this past week.  He seems to like taking his medication way more than having his clothes changed.  Grant loves to take baths and would sit in the tub and wilt if we let him.



His hair is growing and has stayed a light blond.  Grant is super quick to put anything in his mouth and has a strong hold so Adalyn's hair has been put to the test.  

Mark, Adalyn and I are in love with this smiling boy and enjoying every minute with him.      

A lesson in resilience

If you read my blogs then you have come to know a little bit about Joyce, the wonderful woman who works in our home.  I have talked about her living conditions, a bit about her childhood and her day to day life.  Joyce is the sole financial supporter of the 8 family members in her humble home with her husband helping out financially when he can find work.  Living off of approximately $350 a month with that large of a family definitely categorizes her as someone who lives in poverty, even here in South Africa.  What amazes me is how savvy and resourceful she is.

For instance, shortly after she started working for us over a year ago I would see her pulling items out of our trash and taking them home.  Items such as broken bracelets, torn flip flops, used coloring books, dried up markers, pieces of string, empty water bottles, etc…  What I had considered trash, Joyce knew a use for them.  The flip flops she took to a man in her neighborhood who could fix them.  Despite the coloring pages being all colored, she said her daughter would like to just look at them.  The string could be put together to make things, and the list goes on and on.  Now I think twice before throwing something away, as I know Joyce may be able to use it.

Sadly, there are items that I wish she did not have to pull out of our trash.  A few months after Joyce began working for us, I had about $4 in chicken breast spoil in our fridge.  I was about to put it in the trash when she stopped me and said she wanted them.  I asked her about being afraid to get sick from eating spoiled chicken, but she replied, “but it’s $4 worth of chicken!”.  Joyce said she would clean it off with vinegar and it would cook up just fine.   I told her I would rather give her $4 and she can go buy new chicken, but she said that this chicken was just fine. 

Now Joyce takes home any molded bread, rotten fruit and most recently green, furry, molded meat.  Just this past week I had bought some biltong (beef jerky type meat) and within a few days it had green mold all over it.  I feel the need to hide some items in the trash because I just don’t see how her family would not get sick from eating it, but Joyce once again said she would take it home.  Joyce said she would wash off the green, furry mold and cook it in oil, so I reluctantly handed it over.   To me she is brave and savvy in how she feeds her family, though the situation is horrific and heart wrenching.  

It is sickening to me that Joyce and her family are eating these items, but she does not think twice about them.  Her entire life she has had to be resourceful and I am sure her stomach can withstand different foods than mine.  When you are feeding a family of 8 with limited income, I bet you do what you can.  I don’t know what amount of money it would take for Joyce to feel comfortable throwing rotten food out, and I am not sure after 40+ years of her current mind set would even allow herself to do so.  When I bring Joyce home groceries from the store, she does not act any more content with “brand new and fresh food” than what she can find around our house that’s ready to spoil.    

Joyce has taught me so much about life.  She has had to make these types of choices so her family does not go hungry, and thankfully she says they have never have felt that way.  Your entire outlook is really dependent on how you approach obstacles.  Life is not about what you have or don’t have, but those you love.  While I think about her situation in sadness, it is good life to her and a happy one at that.  I constantly battle with the feelings if I am doing enough, am I being a good Christian and sharing my blessings.   I know there are people even worse off than Joyce and her family, who are starving and don’t have family members such as Joyce to help them out.  No matter where you are at on the scale of poverty and need, there is always something that can be done.  Not all the poor are starving but that should not stop everyone from giving.

A unique church experience

Prior to moving to South Africa our family was very involved in our church at home and it was a priority to find a church here that we would call home.  I had looked online prior to the move to see what type of churches there are in our area and pleased with the options I found.  We were not set on having to find a Methodist church like we attended back home and were open to new experiences.  A month after arriving we visited a large church that was right down the road from our estate.

Growing up I went to a variety of churches, Lutheran, Christian, Methodist, Baptist and Mark was a Lutheran but we decided to try a non-denominational church for a change.  On the first visit we knew this church was like nothing we had been to before.  A full band, concert-like atmosphere with spot lights and video screens, thousands of people standing and cheering as the pastor came in, practically dancing in the aisles as the music played and we took it all in.  The atmosphere and music did draw you in and the sermons were fantastic week after week.  I always left with several take home points that I could apply to my life and felt rejuvenated to start my week.

As the weeks went on I started volunteering at the church, Adalyn was loving the Children's Church, and Mark and I even attended the Wednesday night Bible study.  I was excited each Sunday to go to church and enjoyed meeting the other members.  It was amazing how fast I was hooked on this church, though Mark was a little more reserved about it.

A couple months after attending the church we finally figured out it was a Pentecostal church which did not matter to either of us as we were enjoying the experience.  There were a few of their views that we did not fully understand nor agree with but it did not stop us from going.  Then 3 months after attending the pastor brought up the 13 associate pastors to the front and said he was "inviting the holy spirit into the sanctuary" and tapped them on the head and one by one they each feel backwards and laid on the floor.  Mark and I turned towards each other and with wide eyes and both knew this would be the last time we visited this church.

Looking back on our experience a few things stand out that were probably way too different to us and we were not used to but overlooked them as the experience was new and exciting.  First, the pastor and his family did not come into the service until right before his sermon, no time was spent shaking hands or greeting members (we sat in the row behind him and never met him).  He also left directly after the service, so I don't know how you would ever get to know him.  He came across more as a church celebrity than a pastor.  Second, there was never a single picture or a cross or Jesus to be found.  Third, the pastor only preached the "good news", which to be honest I liked but it did not feel like you were getting the whole Bible.  A few things here and there would cause me to think twice, but obviously I was having such a good time that I was willing to dismiss them.    

Having not grown up in such a church nor been exposed to this type of worship it had become a little too unfamiliar and different that we had a hard time relating and possibly understanding.  Mark was done attending right after people started passing out, though I was still curious (maybe that's the psychology major in me) but willing to search out other churches.  It took a couple of visits to different churches, some our friends attended and we loved several things about it but just did not connect, to find our church home.  Finally, in January we visited Willows Methodist Church right down the street and in one visit felt we found our church home.  I guess the old familiar worship service, songs, customs and beliefs was where our hearts were leading us.  It was an interesting 3 months going to the first church filled with 13 thousand people each Sunday, but I am glad we stayed true to our roots and found a place we love worshiping with our friends.  

My Dad and Steph come to visit

It was a whirlwind 8 days trying to pack as many adventures in as possible while letting them relax, but there is so much to do and see, we had to fit it all in.  My dad and his wife Steph came to visit us last week and we tried to show them all our favorite parts about where we live.

The first day, I decided it would be best for them to be able to relax after that 17 hour direct flight and the 8 time zone changes.  Grant was introduced to them and it was love at first sight for everyone.

Adalyn was thrilled to have them around to play with and she loved the extra attention.

That afternoon Dad went with me to Adalyn's swimming lessons where she showed him her skills and that she is pretty much a fish.  A 10 minute golf lesson also took place, but that was quickly followed up by hours of playing barbies.  For dinner I took them to a local favorite, Mo-zam-bik, which serves more traditional African food.

The next morning we headed out to the Rhino and Lion park and since we went on a Tuesday, we had the place pretty much to ourselves.  No lines to pet any of the animals, so Steph and my Dad got to spend some quality time with lions, tigers, servals and a cheetah.

After driving through their reserve to see more lions, cheetahs, rhinos, impalas, ostriches, meerkats, zebras, and kudu we went for lunch with the giraffes.  One of my favorite places to eat as you get to feed the giraffes from your hand if you are a bit adventurous.

I am glad my dad and Steph got to have that experience of a giraffe tongue wrapped around their hand.  My dad and I even split an ostrich burger which is pretty lean meat and does not have a lot of flavor, but when in Africa you got to try some local flavors.  

The following day we spent around our house, walking along the golf course, driving through our neighborhood game reserve, picking up some groceries and just spending quality time chatting.  That evening, the four adults went for a nice meal at another local favorite, Tin Roof restaurant.

Next up was a trip to one of the craft markets where you can find all sorts of African made souvenirs.  Since we went on a Thursday there were very few people shopping so my dad and Steph got lots of attention, wanted or not.  Once the local venders hear that American accent, they start their sales pitch.  I think my dad and Steph did quite well not to get suckered into everyone's booth and did not end up with items they did not even want to buy.  We made some good deals and everyone, including Adalyn walked away with some new African art.

Another afternoon spent by the pool relaxing, playing in the garden, and dinner outside again was just what we needed after hours of shopping.

With only a few days left we loaded up a van and headed out of town to Zebula lodge, a favorite of ours, where we rented a house for a few days.

With our own pool, the beautiful indoor/outdoor living, and wildlife in our backyard you could spend all your time at the house, but there is so much more to do.  The first day my dad and Steph went to pet baby lions and even got to hold snakes (well at least my dad did, not sure Steph was up for that adventure quite yet, can't blame her).  That night they went to relax and enjoy massages.  

The next morning my dad and Steph headed out for a game drive on 4-wheelers.  Then I took them to Adventure with Elephants where we got up close and personal with 5 elephants.  The guide gave great information on each elephant and their program while letting us touch, feed, and basically play with the elephants.

We could pick up an elephant's foot which is quite heavy as you can imagine, listen to them talk, kick a ball back and forth with them, get sprayed down with water and we each received a goodbye kiss.

The elephants was my favorite part of the trip as I loved to watch my dad and Steph interact with them, it's truly amazing how close you can get to the animals here.

We spent the afternoon at the pool then my dad and Steph took Adalyn to the cheetah run, where they got to watch a few cheetahs show off their amazing speed.

As our time at Zebula ended we made a detour on our way home to Ukutula which is a lion interaction and research facility.  My dad and Steph were able to play with a few week old baby lions, walk with lions that were about 1 year old and even enjoy the 3-6 month old lions while trying not to get bit as they are pretty feisty.  One of the adult females had just given birth in the last 24 hours and my dad and Steph got to see the newborn cubs, pretty amazing.

For their last day in South Africa we hung out by our pool, enjoyed the weather and spending time visiting together while they tried to get all the hugs and kisses they could from Adalyn and Grant.

 Both Steph and my dad got to experience driving on the opposite side (right side) of the car and the opposite side (left side) of the road.  No one wrecked the car or ran anyone off the road, though a few times the windshield wipers would go on instead of the turning signal.  My dad even drove the rental van back in rush hour traffic with me and did great.  You all might want to watch out in Maryville if he gets confused these first few weeks back with American driving.

We loved having my dad and Steph visit, it was so good to spend time together and I loved watching them play with the kids.  Both of them are fantastic grandparents and we miss them already so hopefully it won't be too long before we see eachother again.